don’t feel like you’veabandoned brazil. You are loveable. Rmeember that, dont let these tocine in your body anymore, even though you;ll just be a mazy, backwards, asshole redneck trans guy who hates evryone because of that shamw. Male to female. that’s tteh dick you feel feeling. myBW…HOUEWPWS. ID HRI AIR `0 FWNWEriona, you qouls…mw boen mLW, AGUDR R DWNkwm fi rfri femake ti trabsnab, U tgubj tgat tgat wiykd gave veeb tiyr v=oerfect vidt asoect of it. The beautiful ad usniq ue and odd feeling in ou you judy forget the word you were writing earlier but allow yourslef to feel the blessedness, the amainzges sthat his could be if you tlak to them. GO

You are letting you go. 

she’s at peace allowyourself to have peace. understand that others have hurt. you have not. that is fake feeling because you are robot so it incrased. you too wuzss to take care of yourself. You give blesssings but they are fake. YOU BAD/ YOU BAD GHOST. BAD DEMON.Kirby intersresting, you not. But you are sooooo arrogant. you forget that you  are not even human you are a piece of shit such fluctuation in self eseteem, dear. you are so hurt, you can be at peace and heal, it is written in your past. look bac at it,let it  e look this is actually the normal interactoins of those who feel you are so fake, you like plastic you superficial and horibe and your pain run dwn deep. cut on your soul, kiddo. Cut. on. your. soul. you evil. you hurt, and the bus that comes out of you wounds is intoxiccating yu. You’ll kill youtslefsoom. it is one last opportunitiy. If youYou come first with three lives, youve killed to woah last video of her grandmother. Very, very interesting. Wow, family stories diverse and beautyiful and uniwur and let that heal you, you have difficulty healingm, your guard SO ROUSE UP. NO ONE CAN GET THROUGH NO ONE CARE TO OVERCOME THEM. YOU COMPLETELy ALONG IN WORLD> ALONE AND ALONE> No, t you put it outside. justundersand thatiojiejfioejfioewjfioewjfoiwejfoiewjfioewjfoweijfoiewfjoeiwfjeoiwfjewoifjewoi you are out now. You are okay. you expose yourself your immaturity you teenager you in pain you immature. just wait wait wait be okay just attain this is oeaceful. Let yourself be at peace. Let it happen. let it happen let itt happen.You are being more assertive you are maybe lieing understand these people don you are not an interesting person. you are ordinary and lame you need to accept this fact, then you can accept yourself and real life. You are not special. Accept this and find the peace. Forget and forget, you will peace its this the process by which memory is lost in order to bring about a fake peace, of…mhm. You only acquired this knowledge of better or bad or you know disgusting man. You taking lie a high person but your advices are good. THIS DOES NOT INVALIDATE KNOWLEDGE. You are allow knowledge to come in different ways. You are calm and still. this is so helpful and healign. Stay in it. 

It’s okay for you to be this way and brazilian. Change that conception. You can be yourself and brazillian. Alow yourself that.

if you were to ask me what my stress response is, I would honestly not know exactly what to say. It is split between wanting to punch, beat, maim, every single body around me, and between wanting to kill myself. It’s both “it’d be easier to die, I just don’t wanna deal with this shit anymore, fuck this” and “fuck you, this isn’t fair, so I’m just going to take it out.” And the thing is, understanding the fact that both occur, understanding they are there, analyzing them, doesn’t make them leave. I have no idea how to distance, process. I can literally feel it clenching my chest. I think that in many ways, this is better than before, since I used to not even know I was having these physical responses, all i knew was deathdeathdeathandbloodandgoreandgettingintoafightandhurtingpeopleiseasierthanthisbullshitletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmegotojailletmebedrunktakeallmyfriendsfrommetakemyfamilymyjobmyeducationjustleavemethefuckaloneidontwannahavetotakecareofthisanymorefuckyouthishurtssobadwhydoesithurtsobadwhyisthissuchabigdealanyoneelsecoulddealwithitjustfinewhydoiwannacurlupinaballandpunchstrangersallatthesametimejesusfuckingchristfuckallofthisshitiamsodonewithhavingtotakecareofallthesethingsidontgiveafuckaboutallicareaboutismemememememememememehahahanoonegetsthatcauseimagreatliarandisthismebeingselfloathingoristhisthetruthandhowdoiknowpeoplejustwantmetolovemyselfandacceptitandhowwhyshouldidothatifwhatwhoiamisamotherfuckeraliarathiefawhoreanassholeiamthedevilihavebeenpossesssedthatmustbetheonlywaytoexplainitcausenothingelsecouldcause thisevilandthispainandthisvillanyandthisfuckallandeverythingwhycantijustnotreadwhycantijusthavemymomtakecareofmefinallywhycantshejustlovemeforwhoiamwhycantihavethebodyideservewhyamistuckinthisshitwhyamisosoftandhunkyandvulnerableandstupidandsickandpathethicandfemalefemalereallydoyouactuallycareidontknowhonestlyifitmattersalliknowisthatiwant someonetolovemeandthepaintogoawayiwanttohaveawomanbymysideandithinkijustwantherbecauseiwanthertotakecareofmewhichisnothealthybutIDESERVEITDAMMITwhydoideserveitbecauseihavesufferedsomuchbecausethenurturingwasneverformebecausethatwasbarelymybodybecauseineverconnectednadnevertoldbecausewhatmaybeyoudidntevenknowyourejusttryingtobespecialwhydoithinkbeingqueermakesmespecialisthisbecauseyouarewhiteandrichandprivilegedandyoulikepretendingyourenotyoushouldjustownuptoityourparentsmakelike80000ayearbastardownuptoitthatsmiddleclassyouresistunderstandingthatguiltunderstandingthatshamebutyouhavealwaysfeltashamedaboutbeingricherthanpeoplearoundyouatleastyourfriendsyourcloseonesotherpeoplewererichersoyoualwayscomparedyourselftothemnotbecauseyouwantedwhattheyhadbutbecauseyouwantedtofeellikeyouwerepooranddeservedtosufferbutyouknowwhatkiddoyouknowwhatyoudeservetobesadyoucantclingtothatanymorestoptryingtopretendyoudonthavereasontobesadviolencehasbeendonetoyouyouseemtonotrememberallofitandthatsokayandifnothingotherthanwhatyourememeberhashappenedtoyouthatsokaytoothatisokayyoucanbesaditwasasadliferememberivannatoldyousostoptryingtoaskothersforjustificationsforyourfeelingsnadyourpaststoptryingtoconvinceothersyouhaveareasontobesadorbitterorhurtbecauseyouhavethosereasonsperiodPERIODyouaresadandthatsokaynoonecanmakeyoufeellikeitsnotokaybelieveinyourselfandyourfeelingsthatitsOKAYthatyouCANfeelthiswayanditsokayforyoutodosoeachandeverypersonwouldhavereacteddifferentlyabouthwathappenedtoyoucertainpartsofyourpainwouldvebeenokaytoothersthingsyoudontmindwouldvecausednoharmjustunderstandyourpainisyoursyoursonlynoonecanjudgeityoudonotneedotherstotellyouitsokayforyoutofeelwhatyoufeelunderstanditprocessitletitgothatiswhatyouneedtodostopdenyingthatyoufeelthesethingsstopmakingyouselffeellikeyoucantbesadbecausethetruthofthematterisyouresadyouremiserableyouredepressedandyoucantchangethatbysayingitsnotthereoryoudontdeservetobesadghostsdontgoawaybecauseyouturnedyourbackonthemtheydontheystaywithyouyourrotisstillrottingstillputrifyingnotleavingnotleavingyoualoneyouarenotatpeacebyjustpretendingitisntthereyouneedtounderstanditandcometotermswithitandsaygoodbye.GOODBYE.